<div>Have you ever had your heart broken? Do you own an object that won’t let you forget? Here’s your chance to give it the perfect new home!</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>Kaneko &amp; Associates Japan is co-organizing the collection of objects to be featured in the upcoming Museum of Broken Relationships exhibition in Tokyo, Japan.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><strong>The selected objects will be on display at 3331 Chiyoda Arts Gallery – Tokyo Japan from March 31 to April 14, 2018.</strong></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>All donations become part of the Museum of Broken Relationships` collection and have an opportunity to be exhibited in our permanent display in Zagreb or elsewhere in the world.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>Become a part of global emotional history!&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><strong>Donations can be made from December 15 2017 to 15th of February 2018.</strong></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>Just fill in the donation form below. After submission you will receive a confirmation e-mail with a printable version of the form and further instructions.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>All donations are exhibited anonymously and are non-returnable.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>If you have any concerns or questions, please <strong>contact us</strong> <strong>at</strong>: + 47 41 20 41 65&nbsp; or mobr@kanekoassociates.com&nbsp;<br><br>BR</div><div>_______________________________________________________<br><br>大切な人との別れで傷ついた経験はありますか？</div><div>その別れを思い出させる「何か」を捨てられずにお持ちではないですか？</div><div>別れの博物館は、別れの思い出をまとって残された物たちに、新しい居場所を提供しています。</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>株式会社カネコ・アンド・アソシエイツ・ジャパンは来春、東京で開催される別れの博物館を主催しています。</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><strong>ご寄付いただいた「思い出の品」は、アーツチヨダ3331にて、あなたのお話（説明文）と共に展示される可能性がございます。展示期間は2018年3月31日から4月14日となります。</strong></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>お送り頂きました品物とお話は「別れの博物館」でその後も保管し、クロアチア・ザグレブの「別れの博物館」や世界各国で開催される巡回展で展示の機会があります。</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>世界の心を動かす博物館の一員になりませんか？</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><strong>募集期間は2017年12月15日から2018年2月15日です。</strong></div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>下の要件をご記入の上、送信して下さい。自動返信で、出力用の記入要綱と品物の送付についての説明が届きます。恐れ入りますが、ご返却には致しかねます。</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>ご質問等おありでしたら、日本開催事務局までご連絡ください。<a href="mailto:mobr@kanekoassociates.com">mobr@kanekoassociates.com</a> （恐縮ですが、メールのみの対応となります）</div>

Tokyo, Japan

Test AAAAAAA

Test Videa 

<div>A postcard from a childhood sweetheart. A wedding dress sealed in a jar. A roll of undeveloped film. An axe used to chop an ex-lover's furniture in a fit of rage. These objects, and many more handpicked from our global collection by the authors Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišić make up the whimsical, imaginative, poignant population of&nbsp; <a href="https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/olinka-vistica/the-museum-of-broken-relationships/9781478970507/"><strong>The Museum of Broken Relationships, </strong><strong><em>Modern Love in 203 Everyday Objects</em></strong></a><em>– our gorgeous book appearing today November 14 as an imprint of </em>Grand Central Publishing / Hachette Book Group in United States and Weidenfeld &amp; Nicolson (Orion Books) in United Kingdom. This beautiful oversized, four-color book will offer an irresistible glimpse inside other people's secret worlds, creating moments of deep human connection. It is a must read for anyone who has ever loved and lost. A great addition to everyone’s bookshelf or coffee table The Museum of Broken Relationships is, just as the museum itself, a delightful and poignant celebration of modern love.<br><br></div><div>&nbsp;<br>Get your copy here:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1478970502?tag=hacboogrosit-20">AMAZON<br></a><br></div><div><a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/museum-of-broken-relationships-olinka-vistica/1126007460;jsessionid=08596DE0B4A80EC6395F783E3D0E178C.prodny_store01-atgap04?ean=9781478970507#/">BARNES AND NOBLE</a><br><br></div><div><a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Museum-Broken-Relationships-Everyday-Objects/dp/1474605494/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1510660073&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=museum+of+broken+relationships ">AMAZON UK</a></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>

Modern Love in 203 Everyday Objects on your bookshelf

<div>We have almost reached the North Pole! Next year, the <strong>Museum of Broken Relationships is visiting Alta</strong>, in Norway, just off the polar circle. We invite all people from the far north of Europe to donate their stories and thus contribute to the exhibition, which will be set up at <strong>World Heritage Rock Art Centre – Alta Museum</strong>.<br><br></div><div>What do breakups look like under the Northern Lights? Instead of throwing off the edge of a fjord all that reminds you of your ex, write your story down and become part of the Museum of Broken Relationships.<br><br></div><div><strong>The call for donations is open until</strong> <strong>19 January 2018</strong>.<br><br></div><div>In addition to local contributions gathered in Norway, the exhibition will also display exhibits from the international collection.<br><br></div><div><strong>The Museum of Broken Relationships exhibition in Alta opens on 1 March and closes on 31 August 2018</strong>.&nbsp;</div>

Breakups under the Northern Lights

<div>To highlight the universal appeal of its new original docu-series <em>“A Night With My Ex”</em>&nbsp; – and the universality of heartbreak – Bravo chose to partner with the Museum of Broken Relationships to create the <strong>EX-hibition, </strong>a special two-day outdoor pop-up exhibit in New York City. A curation of objects – from the touching to the humorous – will be on display with accompanying breakup stories bringing to life the colorful humanity behind heartbreak. Additionally, visitors in person and on social media are invited to write a <strong>#MessageMyEx </strong>to add their personal touch to an evolving on-site installation that will be open to the public in Flatiron Plaza on Sunday, July 16 and Monday, July 17.</div><div><em>&nbsp;</em></div><div><em>“A Night With My Ex”</em> premieres Tuesday, July 18 at 10PM EST when it brings the first of&nbsp; ten ex-couples together for one night to hash out their unresolved issues in a format where anything can happen. Viewers will witness startling confessions, wild hook-ups and shocking resolutions in a format where anything can – and does – happen.</div><div>We know. This is exactly how our museums was born: one night in a vivid conversation between the exes. <br><br><a href="http://www.bravotv.com/a-night-with-my-ex">http://www.bravotv.com/a-night-with-my-ex</a></div>

The EX-hibition, pop up installation in NYC

<div>To artist Yiota Demetriou, a handwritten love letter is an ultimate act of expressing love – whatever form it may take. At her performance installation <em>Love Letters </em>at the Museum of Broken Relationships in Zagreb, letters she collected across the world will be read and new ones will be added.<br><br></div><div>Throughout five years of touring the world, Demetriou collected over 200 love letters in different languages. On 17 and 18 July, Zagreb audience will get a chance to be immersed in the feelings of complete strangers and all performance observers can also become its participants. In addition to reading love letters from all over the world, they will get a chance to write their own anonymous letters and pin them on the artist's dress. Their letter will thus become part of the exhibition and be read at performances in other parts of the world.<br><br></div><div><em>Love Letters </em>is a durational performance installation. The installation will be on display on 17 and 18 July all day long at the Museum of Broken Relationships, with the performance taking place daily from 7pm to 8pm at the Museum café.<br><br></div><div>The performance is part of a five-year interdisciplinary research and art project <em>The People's Smart Sculpture </em>in which the Museum of Broken Relationships takes part along with 11 partner institutions from entire Europe. The project supports community-based art and collaborative urban processes on the European territory.&nbsp;<br><br></div>

Have You Ever Had Your Love Letter Performed?

<div>In partnership with<strong> Bravo’s A Night With My Ex, the Museum of Broken Relationships</strong> will soon unveil its first New York City exhibition<strong>. </strong>From poignant to playful, the selected objects and their stories will be on display at a pop-up installation in the Flatiron Plaza <strong>from Sunday July 16 to Monday July 17.</strong></div>

Sailing to NYC

<div>How does a breakup sound? Can we hear our hearts healing? Can hearing register a transformation in a relationship? You might think there is no answer, but if you listen very carefully together with us, you'll find them in the exciting soundscape created by the Australian artist Colin Black, from Sunday, 30 April at the Museum of Broken Relationships. Contrasting the eclectic museum exhibits, Colin Black creates a symbolic connection and collision of 'audio objects' to explore a world of allusions, separations, broken promises, healing and transformations of relationships.<br><br></div><div>Colin Black is a composer and an acclaimed artist focusing on experimental sound and radio art. Among the many honours he has received for his work in Australia and beyond are New York Festival 2015, Prix Italia 2003 and a shortlist for the prestigious French prize Phonurgia Nova 2010, 2011 and 2015. The installation <em>Metamorphosis of Refracted Relationships</em> is part of the project Mijene srca / Change of Heart. With this project, the Museum of Broken Relationships is participating in the European project The People's Smart Sculpture, with the support of the Creative Europe programme.</div>

"A Backdrop for the Broken Hearted" by Colin Black

<div>Which part of the world breeds the greatest and the most fatal loves? Which city will become the Brokenships Capital of the Year 2017? Museum of Broken Relationships invites you to find out!</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>Museum of Broken Relationships, the global crowd-sourced collection of the mementoes of broken but not forgotten love stories, aside from its two permanent exhibitions in Zagreb and Los Angeles, is currently on display in Istanbul until 19 February and now also has a user-friendly online collection open to anyone.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>Alone on Valentine's? Can't shake off the thoughts of your lost love? The answer to the first question is, you're not alone; check out brokenships.com and pin the answer to the second question on the map. Turn Valentine's into a Brokenships Pinning Party!</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>Pin your breakups on the world map and make your great love story part of the love history of mankind. A few words, as unforgettable and impressive as your love was, one photo of the location and a breakup date – that's all it takes to make your great love last forever in the virtual world.</div>

Brokenships Capital of the Year 

<div>The Museum of Broken Relationships exhibition at Intercultural Centre, remains open to visitors for two more days.<br><br></div><div>Beside the exhibition, our co-organiser, the <a href="https://iz-heidelberg.de/museum-of-broken-relationships/">Heidelberg Intercultural Centre</a>, in association with the Institute of Religious Studies, University of Heidelberg, organised the workshop <em>Between Critique and Participation: New Approaches to Museums and Diversities</em> on 4 February 2017. Workshop participants had a chance to discuss current approached to museum studies and the social role of museums.</div><div><br></div><div>A symbolic ending to our visit to Heidelberg coincides with Valentine's Day! Be your love story a happy or unhappy one, do something different that day and visit the exhibition – during the extended working hours from 3pm to 10.30pm. At 7.30pm sit back and relax with the performance of singer Jutta Glaser and guitarist Jörg Teichert at the café of the Intercultural Centre.</div>

Brokenships on Display in Heidelberg

<div>Join us for the opening of our first visiting exhibition this year! Same place, same month, seven years later: <a href="http://www.istinyepark.com/en">Istinye Park</a> shopping centre in Istanbul.<br><br></div><div>Although it has already garnered a host of 'best' awards, Istinye Park is again running for the best shopping centre in Europe honour. To boost its chances of winning, for the second time the centre's visitors will get an opportunity to trade their coffee break with a story break. Next to those we are bringing along, we will be exhibiting some new, local breakup stories.<br><br></div><div>The exhibition opens today, 2 February, and remains on display until 19 February 2017. Don't know what to do on Valentine's? It seems we have an ideal solution for you!&nbsp;<br><br></div>

Same Place, New Stories

<div>Join us for the last exhibition opening this year! In association with the Heidelberg Intercultural Centre, this busy winter is bringing us yet another exciting stop on our tour, this time in Germany.<br><br></div><div>The multicultural character of one of the most romantic cities in Germany is more than mirrored in the contributions we received: from old love stories dating a century back, to the ones that began in a circus, to the freshest tales of love from the university corridors, written in the less than perfect newcomers’ German. Aside from the recent local donations, the exhibition will also feature objects from our international collection.<br><br></div><div>The exhibition opens on Thursday, 15 December 2016 at Tabakmuseum, a former tobacco factory, and will be on display until 14 February 2017. As much as we want you to join us on the date – still no need to wait for Valentine’s Day!<br><br></div>

Warming up the German winter in Heidelberg

<div>Fifteen Carnegie Mellon University students spent the fall studying heartbreak.<br>&nbsp;<br>As part of a joint project between the <a href="http://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/english/">English Department</a> and <a href="http://www.etc.cmu.edu/">Entertainment Technology Center</a> (ETC), English undergraduates asked Pittsburgh residents to share objects that represented broken relationships and ETC master's students designed an exhibition to tell the stories of lost love.&nbsp;<br><br>The result, the Museum of Broken Relationships-Pittsburgh, opens at the Mine Factory on Dec. 2 and runs through Dec. 30. The idea to create a Pittsburgh edition struck English Professor Jane Bernstein when she visited the original collection. With support from English Department Head Andreea Ritivoi, Bernstein partnered with ETC co-teachers Shirley Saldamarco and Chris Klug to create the class "The Museum of Broken Relationships." Five ETC students and 10 students took the course.<br><br>A talk with Museum of Broken Relationships&nbsp; founders Olinka Vištica and Dražen Grubišić was organized on Thursday Dec.1 at Giant Eagle Auditorium.</div>

The fall full of heartbreaks

<div>In just four days, 8000 visitors have flocked to see the Museum of Broken Relationships exhibition in Copenhagen co-organised by the <a href="http://www.rundetaarn.dk/en/museum-of-broken-relationships/">Round Tower</a>.<br><br></div><div>Cobble stones from northern islands, a baklava box, a cutting board and war decoration medals are just some of the new objects laden with memories that have been added to the museum's international collection.<br><br></div><div>Until January 22, you can swirl, warm up and entertain your heart while drifting through their moving stories. Curator's tip: after the exhibition climb up to the top of the tower and enjoy the view of one of the most beautiful European capitals.<br><br></div>

Brokenships on view in Denmark

<div>Have you ever dreamed of being published? Here’s your chance to become your own break-up hero. In partnership with <a href=" http://www.grandcentralpublishing.com/">Grand Central</a>, a major US publisher, we are launching our first call for submissions for THE MUSEUM OF BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS, an illustrated gift book opening a window into modern love, showcasing – with accompanying captions – the funny, bizarre, and poignant objects that have outlasted love. &nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>If heartbroken at least once <a href="https://brokenships.com/?open=contribute"><strong>fill in our book submission form</strong></a> and send it with your object by February 28, 2017. Your corny, healing, funny or devastating break-up story will stand a chance to be featured anonymously in the forthcoming book, alongside the best objects and captions from our museum collection. The book is scheduled to hit the shelves in the fall of 2017.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div>Slay the dragons of your past, turn cheaters into book eaters and rise again as your very own break-up hero!</div>

Can your break-up hit the shelves

<div>We are calling for contributions in one of the most romantic cities and the biggest university hubs in Germany!</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><a href="http://iz-heidelberg.de/">The Intercultural Center</a> is co-organizing the collection of objects to be featured in the upcoming Museum of Broken Relationships exhibition in Heidelberg.&nbsp;</div><div>&nbsp;</div><div><strong>Donations can be made from October 10 to November 21, 2016 on the following </strong><a href="http://www.brokenships.com/?open=contribute"><strong>link</strong></a><strong>.&nbsp;<br></strong><br></div><div>The Intercultural Center is a young institution which offers a vibrant place of meeting and cultural exchange for people of different backgrounds and lifestyles.&nbsp;</div><div><br>&nbsp;From December 15, 2016 to February 14, 2017 the Center will host our 7th and last exhibition in 2016.<br><br></div>

Let's see how Germans do it

Funny story we began talking on Twitter hung out for the first time in January, & got together 3 months later. Sounds rushed right? Well it didn't feel like it we had so much in common and we both loved each other then 9 months into the relationship things started to get weird I found out he was talking to another girl he claimed was his "cousin" (which was a lie). I broke up with him then he was able to pull me back into the relationship a month later we're together again things were definitely not the same. arguments left & right. trust issues. it was horrible. i decided to call it off again for sure. he started acting like a douche bag & then weeks later crying for me back. i decided rock block him on everything & now he has a gf & it kills me how fast he moved on. as for me im not doing so great at the momement but definitely happy im free from that toxic relationship. still hurting at times. it was my longest relationship only to be ended over another girl he had eyes for. 
Fast forward 7 months after breaking up. Today i was looking thru my old stuff and i found one of the love letters you wrote me, out anger and sadness i ripped it into tiny pieces only to find this piece of the letter. what hurt the most was reading this lie. because if you meant you wouldn't have picked someone else. 

why'd this have to happen? 

I found the boy I wanted to Marry. Prayed before meals, made the sweetest and most passionate love, his mom and dad became mine as I did not have any and he made me feel wanted. One day he woke up and completely changed his mind. Panicked that we moved too fast after I trusted every promise he ever made to me, especially " I will never hurt you" I have no heard from him since and I have never hurt or felt as empty as I do still to this day. Never trust a man. 

Changed Mind and Broken Promises

So... here's the thing. This is almost your typical cliché story you'd see in a movie. However, it proves that movies are more accurate than they seem. So there I was doing my own thing trying to forget an ex boyfriend who meant the world to me at the time. I had done whatever it took to close a chapter. Suddenly I found myself back once we began spending time together as "friends". Yeah, I know. We were doing this event which took all winter break (we were in high school). I eventually realized I was even more in love than ever. But...at one event at a magical place(Disneyland... i told you it was cliché) I found a boy. Well, we found eachother. We got into a deep conversation and got lost together. I was in love with my ex-boyfriend still so I insisted we made our way back. This new guy fell in love with me. I could tell by the way he looked at me. Now about a week later, this new boy liked me, i liked my ex. My ex of course had his girlfriend. I later find out she's pregnant. Crushed, I decide to give this new guy a chance. My heart was broken. I swore i could never love again. This new guy was sweet, but I could no longer keep playing games so I'd end things. So there I am, unhappy, sad... lonely. To this day I regret letting go of the one person who I would have been happy with. The one guy who saw the world when he'd look at me. The new guy from Disneyland. 

Hurt or Be Loved

Met her in grad school. She was married. Kissed in Oct. 1996, she split from her husband. We had good and tough years. I moved in with her in Apr. 2004. In Nov. 2009 came the words, "I don't want to be with you anymore." Apr. 2012, kicked out.

BFF?

We were in the car together trying to figure everything out. But I could see it in your face you didn’t love me anymore. I Wish I could erase it. 

Knew you were the girl of my dreams but it could never be 

Late nights, morning coffees, spontaneous trips, painful cheeks, inspiration, forgotten feelings, and a splash of tequila. Cheers to you

Finding myself, working hard, learning, two feet in, self evolution and a good glass of gin. Cheers to me

Cheers to you, Cheers to me. 

We both knew that we didn't have time enough for fall in love of each other mainly because our college and their exchange programs. We spoke about it a few times but we knew that we had to made a choice. 
So I wrote him a letter, 2 days after I wrote this letter I cut my finger at work, my boss let me go earlier but I didn't have someone who could tell me if I should go to the hospital or not, so I call him; 19 times, 2 voice messages and 2 texts messages were enough for me to understand that I was alone, so I went to the hospital by myself. They stitched me. 

I was heartbroken, not because he didn't answer my phone calls or texts, it was because he was conscious that I needed him and he decided not be there for me, by his own choice.

On this letter I wrote him about 2 solutions; keep going until the point our time together were over but with the promise to make use of the time that we had left or just leave it and try to be friends. 

But now I know his answer. 


A stitched letter 


(I’m not an eloquent writer, but a straightforward one. Please don’t expect great vocabulary, syntax, or grammar). 
Hello. I am currently 16 years old, attending UCI’s psychiatric therapy and taking medication for my depression, anxiety, and PTSD because I was abused by my ex boyfriend. I started dating Peter on December 3rd, 2015. He was a picture perfect boyfriend: he can drive, he is wealthy, he is educated, he is well mannered. However, this was only a facade for the later months to come. He broke off all of my close relationships with my family, friends, and people within my church through gossip and rumors that picked at my insecurities. He cussed me out countless times. He raped me three times. He beat me twice. He made sure that my dignity was damaged so much to the point that I would only look at him. He threatened to kill my family and kill himself unless I catered to his sexual favors. I was dating a sex addict that posed as a perfect man to use as bait for sex. He did all of these terrible things in the short span of six months. Breaking up with him was worse, because he never apologized; only victimized himself and antagonized me for such a broken relationship and started stalking me. He eventually got arrested, but that still doesn’t atone for the scars he left me with. 
I could care less about Peter’s life after his arrest. I don’t need to know how much more shameless he will be in continuing such a lifestyle that revolves around sex. I don’t need updates of his swindling ways. 
However, I will never forgive myself for throwing away the people who cared about me the most for an abusive boyfriend that only pretended to love me. They did all they could to ensure I was protected but I ended up in the hands of my abuser. I can’t forgive myself for wasting their efforts. Ever. 
Through this broken relationship, I learned to hold my family and friends close. I don’t ever want to lose someone that blew out their own flame to light my own candle again.
Thank you for reading.

Candle

Before we moved in together I was living by myself. So when we decided to live together, I had everything we needed - from towels and linen, to cups, plates and dishes. Everything. All he needed to do was pack a suitcase and move in.

The only other thing he brought with him was this huge, insanely soft and comfortable feather filled quilt. It was like sleeping between clouds! I gave away all my old blankets and duvets, we didn't use them anymore.

It was a warm spring when we broke up. Summer was already in the air. I packed everything that was mine and left an empty apartment. The only thing I left was his quilt. I didn't felt sad about leaving cause I knew for quite a while it was the right to do.

It was a wonderful summer. I never felt any regrets about breaking up, not for a minute.

But then the summer ended and it started to rain heavily. It was suddenly too cold to sleep without a blanket. So I started to look for one in my winter closet section. An then it hit me - I don't have anything, I gave all away.

And a struck of sadness hit me so hard I almost cried. I missed that feathery quilt so much...

Feather filled quilt

Half a year passed between our first and second date. Chance had us meet up again shortly after New Year's - I was visiting my hometown for holidays, you were living there.

I soon had to go back to Stockholm for college, but we kept on being eachother's little secret, with me taking every chance I could to visit. I saw a spark in you, in your passion for what you did, that I'd always been missing in other relationships. You were the first I loved in a long time. I think you felt the same, but neither of us ever dared say it.

Our relationship was open, as that's what we both found natural. My plans placed me abroad for the next few years, first for travels, then for education, yet I was so very much looking forward to always coming back to you. But when that old friend of yours that you started seeing issued an ultimatum, demanding either a 'real' (meaning exclusive) relationship or nothing, things got complicated. He could give you things I could not. He would always be near. He could move in with you, help you renovate your newly-bought house. He could give you stability. Maybe one day he could give you children.

I was the one that had to go.

I couldn't give you enough

Our first date was at British Library. We went to see Alice in Wonderland exhibition there. Many people said to me, others go on first date at a bar or a restaurant, but you chose library, guess who would like that idea, must be perfect for you. 

The first time I met her, I gave her my favourite book - Letters to Milena, by Franz Kafka. The book touched me deeply, and I know she would appreciate it.

We've been on many dates to galleries and museums, gigs and festivals, I felt in love with her. We both are music lovers, I made her playlists. 

We are different people, but with all the shared interests, we made it work, and I embraced the differences. To me, the differences create conversations. 

I am a practical person, in the sense that I don't really know how to show emotions, but by making things, I found a way to express my feelings. I made her a Calder fish tank Sculpture last Christmas. On her birthday, I made a LED birthday card and also a painting. A painting of a stationary boat on the lake, with a reflection. 

That's exactly how she made me feel.

Some would describe their partners as hurricanes, but to me, she made me feel like that boat. Peaceful. 

I have a relatively hard life, I moved around a lot, different countries and people come and go. Although I am an only child, but I don't get along with them very well, always been distant. I always worry about the future, I worry too much.

For once I felt there was something, someone, could make me calm and live in the present.

Everything was great until I started feeling something was off. I don't know what and why. By that time I already moved out from my parents place, she came to mine a lot, but it just didn't feel right.

I thought it was me, due to the change of living situation and circumstances. I tried to ignore all the red flags till the point I can't take it anymore... I got too insecure and I lost control, I became paranoid.

That weekend I went to her town, which is 30 mins outside London, I went to the Bonfire fireworks with her parents. I haven't seen fireworks in years, and I had a wonderful time there.

The next morning we talked. She said she felt like she was taking advantage of me, because something has changed in her. I went home.

We broke up the weekend after that, over the phone.

I knew it was coming. 

The last time I saw her was at the station, we exchanged things. It was a shame. I know that I love her, but she doesn't feel the same anymore.

But I still want to thank her for making me feel, letting me know what does it feel like to love someone. 

We both enjoy art.
And Art is Love made Public.

Art is Love made Public

It was the 10th grade and the first day of school, I had math with Mr.Randizo. I was sitting in the front row, math and gym where the only classes I liked. I played soccer and my school was known for being a big soccer school, so needless to say I was just thinking about making the Varsity team this year. Then she walked in, she had on a light blue long sleeve hositer T-shirt with pink letters and blue jeans with tan Uggs. Her hair was dirty blond and she had a slender face. She was about 5'2 and I can remember my heart stopping when I saw her. At that very moment everything dissipated in my mind. It was as clear to me as the morning sun that I loved this girl, and always would till my last breath. I know love at first sight is a hard thing to believe, trust me I never did. But I can't explain how she made me feel without using those four words. We didn't start dating right away, I was terrified to even talk to her. But I couldn't help myself from staring at her every chane I got. Well she must have noticed because she approached me in Spanish class, the only other class we had together, and ask if I wanted to do a project with her and her friend. After that we spent a lot of time talking on the phone. Eventually I built up the courage to ask her out. We dated through high school, it wasn't always perfect and we had a few break ups, but we always came back to one and other. Fast forward 10 years later and we are still together. Her mother moved down to Florida, we were current living in New England. I was finishing trade school and she wanted to finish school in Florida so she could be closer to her mom. So for a year we did the long distance thing while I fimshed school. I moved down to Alabama where my uncle had an HVAC business that I could start working at. We had been through a lot, her father passing away, my best friend ODing at 19, but things seemed to be at there best right now, or so I thought. She started acting very distant towards me which I had never felt her do before. I had always been her rock, something she could lean on and no matter the weight of never budge. Then it happened I was at work it was around lunch and she called me. She said she was confused and there was another guy. She said she still loved me but she just didn't know anymore. She tried to let me down easy I see that now, but it didn't matter. I was crushed, I felt as if I was drowning. I left work and thought about ending it just to stop the pain. I thought of my mother and thank God I didn't do something stupid. It's been 3 years now and I can honestly say I still feel the exact way I felt that day today, and I do everyday. I've tried to date other women but it's like my heart just dosnt work anymore. I never feel a warmth in my chest or a flutter in my heart beat. I know that she broke something in me deep where I can't fix it on my own. I just wish the pain would go away that the tormenting dreams would stop. I truly believe that I can love again, I guess I'll just have to hope I'm lucky enough to find someone to breath life back into my soul...

High school sweet hearts

Testing title

It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t nice, it wasn’t romantic. It was in fact the ugliest part of my life, us. It started with a Craigslist ad and ended with a police report. I was ready to be loved after having only been bedded, but even with you that’s all you wanted for 6 months. The night you told me I was actually relationship material was the night you’d told me I wasn’t the model type, but I’d do, and still I wanted to love you. And so months passed with fights, tears, ever growing fears. We’d tear each other apart then hold each other tight. A truth became uncovered by an impromptu std test, ruining the sweetest memory I had of you because it became a lie.  We forgave and fought as though our lives depended on it, as if we didn’t stay in this cycle we’d collapse into nothing. Almost two years you were kind of mine, me being told one day I’d be your wife, one day the mother of your children. One day changed the course of my life. You took one argument too far, I lost my mind and you called the cops. Your betrayal and 3 days in jail didn’t keep me from loving you. My mother taking me hundreds of miles away to heal didn’t keep me from loving you and it didn’t stop you either. That didn’t stop me from making my mistakes, I slept with someone thinking I’d never see you again and lied about it when you walked through the door. That lie became our undoing though it was something we'd faced before, more than once. We never really trusted each other and we shouldn’t have, but I never ruined your life like you did mine. And with my life still in your angry hands until August 30th, 2017 I hope you won’t shatter me completely in a fit of rage. I loved you and part of me still does, but please my past love don't find me and use it against me.  

Craigslist isn't the place for love

Never forget to eat well and don't drink too much alcohol..
People are passing by until you stop searching :) 

Remember who you are

He was in love with me. He adored me. I loved him but was uncertain with what love really was. When I finally learned how to love, he wasn't there anymore. A sudden hole grew in my heart that can only be filled with the presence of him. 

The one with the big heart.

When i met her,  T.F was a flirty, teasy, sweet, risqué, confident girl.
Or so would her act lead you to believe.

Inside, she was a broken, lost,  a fragile, tender lamb in a world of wolves.

A heart frozen in time and locked in her earlier years, one tragic winter night, when her beloved father passed away and left her behind.

We connected inmediatly, she and i, to such an advanced, emotional and adult level the likes of which i had never experienced before.

I wanted to be with her beyond what rational thought can explain,  but sadly she was already in a relationship and could only see us as good friends.

Her boyfriend did not like for her to spend time with me, but she would accuse him of being abusive and controlling, and meet me regardless.

It was then that i learned, that their relationship was not well.

He, she told me, would just not understand her, nor make her feel loved.
He, she told me, made her doubt her own value and attractive as a woman.

I soon realized, that i had to put a stop to it.
I loved that woman, and i had to fight for her and make her mine.

Even beyond simply making her mine, i had to protect her from the man that was making her miserable, from the man that made her lose any trust and self-confidence on her very own worth.

That man was pathetic, he had the the most beautiful,  loving, caring and sensual woman in the entire world by his side, and he was not making good of it.

She just needed understanding,  she just needed nurturing,  she just needed love and caring, and i would provide all of that for her.

I would find out, all too late, that i was that man all along.

She broke up with me, as i asked her why she spent so much time with another man.

She told me, during our break up talk, that i just did not understand her.
I did not make her feel loved, her valued, and i made her doubt herself.

Her new lover, who had been my best friend for years,  told me that he was sorry but that he had to intervene.

That i had not valued how i had the most loving, beautiful, caring and sensual girl by my side, and had not done good of it.

The fool would realize, just a year later,  that he had been talking about himself all along.

He told me between tears, as they two broke up after a third person came into the picture,  that she told him that he had not been able to understand her.

That he had not made her feel loved, valued and that it made her lose her faith on herself, and doubt her own worth as a woman.

The cycle would continue a few more times, before i lost track of her.

You may have noticed, that i did not speak one word about our relationship, and that is because said relationship never mattered to begin with.

I realized in time, that while she was the woman i loved the most in my entire life, for her, i was just a page in the journal of her endless quest.

What for me was the most important and life-defining relationship of my entire life, for her, it was just tuesday.

I was just a numberless page in the book of her life, and  her endless search for the man that left her behind all those years back.








I was just a numberless page.

cilim test

she broke up with me and got into a relationship with one of my best friends

heartbroken

i met your smile
thats the first thing id see
it distracted me with love
but i was only teen

i gave you a world
of safety and trust
you burned down that bridge 
spitting spit on the dust 

i looked at you then
as you covered my eyes 
i saw the real you then
one with disguise 



Smile

It's not that I suddenly stopped loving you. It's just that I started loving myself.
After 3 years and two month, and probably for the first time in my entire life, I was finally able to breathe. To function on my own and to get the hell away from you. You, the one that couldn't stop talking about yourself. You, the one that always found a reason to put something first and your relationship second. You, the one that never realized that I was the best thing that could have happened to you.

I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm sorry for being selfish. I was never able to show you the best side of me because I was too focused on keeping you with me. To heal my wounds because you lied, again, in my face.
Don't get me wrong... it took all I had to leave you. You were the only thing that truly mattered to me. You were the one but I guess it always takes two to make it work.
I'm not the same person I was yesterday, let alone 3 years ago and I was just tired of feeling unsure. Unsure of your love. Unsure of your faith.
So I took a deep breath and left.

If I told you everything, I promide, you'd cry too

Cilim test 2

We were idiots- dating despite knowing that he was going to move away. It was amazing when we were together but suddenly I was in Seattle and he was in London. It wasn't that we didn't love each other anymore, but that neither of us felt loved. 

long distance

You cheated on me several times. You broke my arm. You threw me in jail. Then, after 10 years together, you ended us. After all that - I'd still take you back. 

Signed,
A Fool For Love

Fool for love

What started off as friendship in 2009 turned into a long distance relationship, lyrics of the song which he sang to propose to me are etched in my mind.He was a doctor studying his masters and I had just bagged my first job. We met through our parents and hit it off well, our common love for music, books, literature, food, family and his fantastic sense of humour kept me in splits. I flew across the country to meet him, my connecting flight got cancelled and I travelled by road. He kept finding excuses to meet me. My dad did not approve of him and it caused a rift between dad and me and mum had to play the role of a mediator.  One Sunday he asked me to marry him and I agreed. It seemed perfect, but little did anyone know about the emotional blackmail he put me through ,the fights that turned into threatening conversations. I waited for him to finish his masters and decided to part ways but he persisted. I knew things were falling apart. Our ambitions had changed, love had faded. Our parents no longer saw eye-to-eye despite the best efforts and I knew his father did not like me either, I was not a doctor or dentist unlike the children of their family friends. We stopped communication, a nasty, snide comment from his father about my parents was the nail in the coffin. 

Soulmates to Strangers

We were having a long distance relationship from the beginning. We come from China and we met in HK when we were exchange students there and we stayed together for a month.
I went back to Beijing for college and she went back to Wuhan for college.
I went to Los Angeles for graduate school after graduation. She went to Coventry for graduate school after graduation.
All the time we stayed together is no longer than a year.
We ended our three years long distance relationship this year.

Break Up Online

I knew the moment you smirked that I felt some kind of love for you. It might not be deep and forever, but it's enough to keep me awake at night and you visiting my dreams. But I have a feeling I'm not quite the right fit; like that almost puzzle piece. That's what hurts the most. The almost.

You can't ever be mine

We had just watched the movie "How To Be Single" in theaters and we were having a good time. I had always pondered the questions "If we were meant for one another? If we were really going to have a future together? I think this is the man my soul loves?" I loved this man more than life itself. The night we watched that movie I let my insecurities get the best me and started an argument and at 3AM he called it quits. He said he couldn't take the constant arguing and lack of communication on my end because I would never tell him when I was upset with him or any other details. We kept in touch for a year afterwards and it hurt every single time I saw his name or heard his name so I broke it off completely even though it hurt so much. We dated for 2 and half years, took vacations together and basically spent almost every moment we could together. We no longer speak and have not spoken in a year and it breaks my heart just to even think of the memories because he was the one my soul loved.

I have to Rebuild. 

You can never accept that he was not meant for you when you thought that he was the only man in this world.. He was the only man that i loved but he never felt the same way because he never prioritized me.. he was my world and i was his nothing. i brought him cake but he wished for me to vanish. I still brought him his favorite cheesecake, but he threw it away. i never expected that i would  still love him despite of all of those things. :( now he is happy with somebody else. me? left in this world, wishing i was that girl that he loved, the way he never showed me    :(

The  Great Martyr

I thought he was the love of my life.  But we were in such different places and had  become different people.  He wrote me these postcards from England but never sent them.  Things may have been different if he had.

Young romance

The moon and sky, fell in love. Both of them found meaning in their life. Then moon saw some stars. And the next night, she never came. Never. The sky never knew why. 

When the moon decided to leave the sky dark 

My first love

We loved each other so much we needed to share that love with more people. I love you forever ❤️

It starter right after antoher breakup. Maybe because of this it never felt completely right. Nevertheless, it lasted 1.5 years. But it didn't end right after the breakup. What followed was a war between two human beings not being capable to say that they love each other. And when it came to it, it was too late. Frustration and big wounds haven't let me tell him the same.
It has been over a year since the last time we spoke. I can still feel him near me everywhere i go.

The writer meeta the golf player

All our disagreements were resolved. Not this one. You threw a curveball and blocked all communication between us. Ouch. How can my heart heal if you earned your spot there. Waiting for recovery.

Numb

Мы были вместе ровно  год.  Я все знаю и все тебе простил. Судьба все решила.

Победа 

Breaking up with my breakup. I was in a relationship that lasted a few months shy of ten years. I was infatuated with him from the first few days I started to chat with him online, we officially met in person a month later in highschool. We had mutual friends… I fell in love fast. Our relationship had so many highs and lows but I was constantly fighting for his love. I was his best friend but I wasn’t the love of his life. We broke up when I moved 3,000 miles away but we continued to talk every single day. I moved back for him after only being gone 6 months. He didn’t want me back when I came back home. But he wanted me as his best friend still. For the last two years we have continued to stay “friends” with hooking up at least once a month and hanging out and never going more than three weeks without speaking. Its like I was still in this relationship and still fighting for his love. I just wanted him to be in love with me. I would say be in love with me again but I don’t think in the last 12 years he was ever in love with me.  I am now breaking up with our long two year dragged out break up. I want him as my lover and my best friend, he just wants his best friend not the other stuff that takes work. Goodbye to 12 years of begging for your love. 

Breaking up with my Break up

In the central square of the city of Ferrara, he closed with me talking to be not able to love. Stupid 

I don't believe in love 

I thought I had it all figured out with my so called perfect guy. humorous, kind?,etc. we'd do all the things of a basic romantic relationship, with the addition of saying I love you to each other every other day. later learning that he apparently didn't mean it and he was lying to my face

ohwow I'm devastated 

After waiting several months for him to come home, talking every single day, him getting drunk and throwing up in my kitchen sink twice, he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship with me. Now we aren't even friends anymore.

Pining, Longing, and Then Nothing

It just happened.
I wanna believe Everything Happens for the Best.

Finally

He is good at cooking. We sat together after dinner, I hummed a tune, just bon, bon bon bon bon bon, and he got it: " that's "my girl", only you would sing it like this." That's the moment I fell in love with him. And that's it.

the bon bon bon song

We met in High School, fell in love in College.  We  lived in three cities together, owned a business and a house.  One day I realized that he had been emotionally abusive our entire relationship and I decided there had to be something better.

8 year relationship, 1 year of marriage

Well I guess I should just chalk it all up to working Nights/3rd shift/poor decision making and that mindset continually affecting my judgement throughout the course of our relationship. So to make a perilously long story (though not even a year, but still ;) short & concise, after helping to pay her bills/"loaning" her thousands of dollars, she wasn't willing to make the sacrifices which she had stated from the outset of the relationship. So admittedly, I gradually lost interest (something that I only recognize in hindsight):  and basically withdrew from the madness (knowing that it wouldn't get any better/fix itself) until (Fortunately!) she broke up w/ me. Her promised to be repaid debt remains unpaid...

Internet dating should always be carefully considered & vetted, haha

Everything became nothing


I was with my partner for almost 8 months. We had been to Milan together for his birthday and things were looking up. We were planning on moving in with eachother and everytime I saw him I still got the original butterflies from when we met. Each day I learned something new from him and life was going great, we were both extremely happy, or so I thought. 
I went to work from Venice, Italy for a week. Unfortunately thats the down side to my job is having to work away from home every now and again and this was the first time that had happened since we began our relationship. He seemed distant over phone calls and messages and I just thought he was allowing me time to enjoy myself. 
I arrived home and hadn't seen him since I had been back, which was only one or two days. I finished work as normal, and I rang him. Asked  him what he wanted for dinner, or if he needed anything from the shop. He said he was okay but wanted me to hurry home. Our usual finishing work routine was as normal. A hug, kiss, cigarette and a rant about our day. I brought up the question of dinner again and he said that he didn't want anything yet but we needed to talk.
We sat down on the bed. He started explaining how unhappy he was living here. He's Hungarian and had been living in the UK for 6 years at this point. He hated his job. He hated the location of where we lived and said he plans to either move back to his wealthy family in Western Hungary, or to move to Yorkshire, England. I asked where this had left me. He replied with that I was to remain here and continue on my journey alone, without him. This broke me because he basically gave me the "Its not you, its me" speech. 
After that we stopped talking, for the first we weeks he would message me to see if I was okay, and each time I'd reply with "of course I am". A few more weeks went by and by that  point I stopped replying.
Almost a year since we first met and I am still not fine about our break up.
All I was left with was a pair of blue and white star all star converse and his old baggy tee shirt.

Everything (28)